How to correctly price yourself in the freelance market

How to correctly price yourself in the freelance marketHow to correctly price yourself in the freelance marketUnless you are positive youre going to win the Powerball (which, may the grace of good fortune be on your side), you are going to have to hustle this year. That means knowing how to price yourself. Its a balancing act- aim too high and the client might offer the job to someone else. Price yourself too low, and youll end up resentful at the high workload and low payout.We have some tips on how to evaluate your worth and how to deal with tricky situations with clients.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and more1. Dont suggest an hourly rate.Think of your work as value-based. If you are helping a brand grow their online presence, you shouldnt price yourself based on the amount of time you are going to spend on the job. You should price yourself based on the value you are going to add and your level of expertise.The better you get at something, the faster you work (usually), but that doesnt mean you shouldnt be paid for your skill level.2. Dealing with the we dont have a big budget, pickle.It might be true, it might not be, but when a client says this to you its often a red flag that they arent going to want to pay. Its also a way to undermine your confidence from the gate. Telling you there is no budget will make you question what youre worth dont let it. If you have a set rate, stick to it, and if they cant pay that, then its up to you to decide if the ends justify the means. If you think its a relationship that will pay in the long run, thats a decision only you can make.3. Compare and contrast, but dont undersell yourself based on the market.Look into what other people are being offered for the same service, but if you think its too low for you,dont fall to market pressure.A simple way to find your number is to divide the high-average yearly salary of someon e in your position who works full time by the number of months youll be collaborating with a client. You want to start on the high end because most of the time you will get a counter-offer.4. Quote yourself confidently.Dont be afraid of that big number. Looking at it as a whole can seem intimidating, but sending a confident proposal that shows a client that you believe in your worth and your work, may instill the same confidence in them.5. Offer your services in tiers.Be explicit about what services you can provide for different prices. The more specific you can be about deliverables for price points, the more likely a client is to sign on. Tiers also gives you wiggle room for negotiation. For example, if the client is into tier 2with one additional service youre offering in tier 1, you can come back and say, Im willing to add in X service for X extra.6. Asking point blank if there is a budget.If you dont know where to start, you can put the initial price point on the potential clie nt. Theres really only one way to do this directly. How much are you willing to spend? will send the wrong message. Asking if there is a budget, will not.7. There is no ax+b=c formula.Theres no right answer to price yourself. At the end of the day, everyone has had different kinds of experience put on their resume, has different skills, and all have worked for different rates in the industry. If youre confident in your price, have compared your rate based on average market pricing, and have considered all of your skills, experience, and value, youll be able to come up with a rate that will make sense to you. If it doesnt make sense to a potential client, oh well. _(?)_/ Like Tinder and Bumble, youll eventually find a perfect match that will understand your self-worth and value.This article originally appeared on Create Cultivate.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study fin ds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

Engage Your Employees and Turn TGIF into TGIM!

Engage Your Employees and Turn TGIF into TGIMEngage Your Employees and Turn TGIF into TGIMEngage Your Employees and Turn TGIF into TGIM ConlanIf your employees are breaking for the door on Friday afternoons, you may be dealing with an employee engagement problem.Its not unusual - according to Gallup, the majority of employees in the U.S. arent engaged in their jobs. But with the multi-generational workforce that you likely have at your organization, you may wonder if its possible to get a fully engaged workforce and turn TGIF into TGIM?In some ways, yes. Whether someone is 20, 30, 40 or 50, they all want the dignity and gratitude of doing great work and everyone wants to be part of something that is more than just their job, says Rich Berens, president at Root Inc., a business strategy firm. He says the drivers of engagement are much the same regardless of generation? People want to be part of something bigger than themselves.? People want to feel a sense of belonging.? People want to go on a meaningful journey.? People want to know their contributions make an impact.Of course, each generation tends to have different priorities because of their ages and life events., These factors can have an effect on engagement.Understanding these differences can make it easier for employers to boost engagement - and result in an engaged workforce who actually want to come to work on Mondays.Communicate EffectivelyWorkforce engagement relies on communication. Employees who understand company goals and their role in achieving them are likely to be more engaged. Remember though - they arent going to know what those are unless you communicate them. Do so effectively by understanding how each generation generally prefers to receive.Boomers, for example, often prefer in-person presentations, one-on-one discussions and informational handouts, says Melissa Erenberg of Assurance, a Chicago-based insurance company. Younger employees, however, are often comfortable with communicatin g through electronic means, such as text messages, emails, videos and social media.Amy Glass, director of training at BRODY Professional Development in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania, recommends employers use the fruchtwein efficient medium when communicating with Gen Xers.Understand Employee MotivationsBecause the different generations are at different stages in their lives, each one may be looking for something different from their work. To boost workforce engagement, carefully consider what drives each generation.For example, Boomers are looking for ways to pass on their knowledge and stay relevant by mentoring or coaching younger generations, Glass says, which makes them a good match for Millennials, who are looking for useful insights on how to grow their careers.Gen Xers, who may have children at home while trying to manage their aging parents, are particularly interested in work-life balance, Glass says, which may mean flexible scheduling or work-from-home options can be appealing. When it comes to feedback, Boomers and Gen Xers require little feedback to do their jobs well, adds Glass. Remember, theyve been doing those jobs for some time, and know how to incorporate feedback and move on. Millennials, however, crave feedback and are eager to hear how theyre doing much more frequently than more mature generations.Finally, Boomers are looking to leave a legacy as they wrap up their careers, while Gen Xers are preparing to move into senior leadership positions. Meanwhile, Gen Y binnenseeks opportunities to contribute and move up the corporate ladder quickly, based on competencies, not tenure, Glass says. They like to see the meaning and value of their contributions to stay engaged.Customize BenefitsEmployee benefits play a strong role in employee engagement and satisfaction. Chris Bruce, managing director of Thomsons Online Benefits, recommends that employers consider different generations when putting together benefits packages.While older workers tend to value healthcare insurance and the extension of their program to their family, younger employees often prefer opportunities to travel, or to receive great offers from their local gym, Bruce says. Surveying employees can also give you insights into what they prefer most.

Interview Questions and the Best Answers [2019]

Interview Questions and the Best Answers 2019Interview Questions and the Best Answers Interview Questions and Answers Congratulations Your resume is outstanding and your titelblatt letter is a hit. You got a response from a recruiter, and the company wants you to come in for an bewerberbewerberinterview. Now what?Landing a job interview can seem like a battle in itself. Getting selected to meet with the organization in person feels validating, but it can also be scary. Now you have to live up to the expectation you set through your resume and cover letter.Dont let the thought of having to answer a series of job interview questions get you worried. This guide will help get you ready. Well go overWhat to expect from a job interviewCommon interview questions you will be askedHow to answer interview questionsSample interview questions and answersAdditional job interview preparationWhat to Expect From a Job InterviewThe first thing you need to know is that there are different styles of j ob interviews, which makes it tough to know exactly the types of interview questions to prepare for. However, as a general rule, job interviews can fall under three categoriestraditional, behavior-based and a mix of both.Traditional Interview FormatThis style of interview has a free-flowing question and answer format. Here an interviewer will ask you a series of questions related to job requirements. The goal is to have you expand on what you provided in your resume and cover letter.Behavior-Based Interview FormatThis is a very popular interview style because it provides companies deeper insight into how you behave and apply certain skills in different situations. Typical interview questions are very open-ended, get you to describe past experiences and can lead to a variety of responses.Mixed Interview FormatMixed Interview Format As you might have guessed, this type of interview mixes both traditional and behavior-based formats.Your best bet for preparing for an interview is to dev elop and rehearse answers to interview questions following a mixed interview format. That way you are ready for whatever gets thrown at you.Common Interview QuestionsYoull never be able to predict exactly the questions you will be asked in an interview. But you can expect the interview to follow a line of questioning related to the job requirements listed in job posting. For example, if the job description states that the role demands strong written communication skills, you will probably be asked a question related to this skill.Instead of asking specific questions related to each job requirement, interviewers might also ask mora general questions. These can be more simple, with the goal of having you summarize your motivations and qualifications.Here are some of the top interview questions that recruiters ask in both traditional and behavior-based interviews.Traditional Interview QuestionsWhy would you like to work here?Why should we choose you?Tell me about yourself.Why should we hire you?Where do you see yourself in five years?What are your strengths?What are your weaknesses?How do you handle stress?Behavioral Interview QuestionsDescribe an example of a time when you had competing deadlines and how you resolved the situation.Have you ever had a conflict with a co-worker, and how did you resolve it?Give me an example of how you overcame ambiguity on a particular project.Describe a situation where you made a mistake and how you went about correcting it. (see sample answer below)Provide an example of a time when you went above and beyond what welches expected of you for a particular project.How to Answer Interview QuestionsThe sample interview questions above do not have definitive right answers. You will have to relate your personal experiences to each question. The best interview answers are ones that address the questions directly and provide sufficient detail to beistand your answer without becoming unfocused.For behavioral interview answers, you should f ollow a specific response format called STAR, which stands for Situation, Task, Action, Result. Remember that the questions are meant to tease out certain behavioral qualities from you, so you want to do this in a coherent way that allows the interviewer to get a complete picture of the example to which you refer.Situation Describe the situation or context (project, company, your role, etc.).Task What were you asked to do or how were you involved in the situation?Action Describe the action you took to complete the task or solve the problem.Results Explain the outcome of your actions. If the task welches completed or a problem was solved, how did this benefit the company or work relationships? Be as specific as possible.Sample Interview Questions and AnswersQuestion Describe a situation where you made a mistake and how you went about correcting it. (Behavioral interview)AnswerIn my last job working as an event organizer, I was involved in the planning of a large full-day conference f or two hundred people at the hotel.My specific task was to coordinate the food and beverage offering for attendees, which included breakfast and lunch services. This meant selecting the food to be provided based on the hotels catering options while accommodating any dietary requirements of attendees.Unfortunately, I miscommunicated the number of vegetarian options that were required when placing the order with the hotel. So, when our guests sat down for their lunch, there were a handful of people who did not receive a plate.Upon being alerted by a hotel staff member of the problem, I immediately realized my error. So the first thing I did was speak to the kitchen staff about whether they could develop more vegetarian meals even if they werent part of the original catering menu. Luckily, the kitchen staff was very accommodating and managed to put together some plates of food.After working on a solution with the kitchen, I informed my manager that I had made a mistake but that I had a lready taken action to correct it. She was supportive of my action, and I then went to the five guests who were affected by the mishap to confirm that they wouldnt mind eating something that was not on the original menu. They were all fine with the change, so despite a short delay in getting them their food, they were all satisfied with the result.The lesson I took from this is that with every event involving food I now have a spreadsheet for dietary requirements that I use to confirm meals multiple times before an event.Explanation This example demonstrates the STAR method in action. The respondent outlines the situation and task related to a particular conference, and the problem that arose out of it. Specific actions are then outlined to provide insight into how the interviewee acknowledges and manages a mistake. Finally, the result of the action is described to demonstrate that the action resolved the problem and that a lesson has been learned from the experience.Question Why wo uld you like to work here? (traditional interview)Good answer The reason I would like to work here is that I know it is a place where I can bring valuable skills and knowledge in digital marketing to the existing team, while also challenging myself and learning from those around me. I am particularly interested in the collaborative work environment and the opportunity to work with a variety of people with different specialties.Bad answer I want to work here because the company has a reputation for being one of the best in the industry, and I am ready to work for one the big players.Explanation The first answer is good because it does not only focus on what the interviewee stands to gain from working at the company. Instead, it stresses that the individual has something to offer the company (digital marketing expertise) while also expressing interest in how the company culture can help support the individuals professional development.Meanwhile, the second answer is solely focused on what the respondent has to gain, and it does not even provide specific detail about the types of skills or knowledge the individual seeks to obtain.Question What are your weaknesses? (traditional interview)Good answer One of the areas that I am really trying to improve upon is public speaking. It is something that I never did much of during university and the first couple years of my career as an accountant. However, as I have advanced into more senior roles, I have realized how important it is to speak to larger audiences both inside and outside of my company. To help make me feel more comfortable in these situations, I took a seminar in presentation skills.Bad answers I tend to procrastinate/I work too much/I have a hard time letting going of projects.Explanation This is one of those hard interview questions. It should be answered strategically.The first thing to avoid is highlighting an area of weakness that you know a core requirement of the job. For example, if the job descript ion says that you need to be able to juggle multiple priorities and deadlines at once, you want to avoid stating that one of your weaknesses is procrastination. You also want to avoid being vague since this allows the interviewer to develop his/her own conceptions.The best way to answer this question is to turn a negative into a positive. As you can see in the first example, the respondent acknowledges room for improvement in a particular area (ideally not critical to the job function) and demonstrates the steps he/she is taking to improve.Recap for Answering Interview QuestionsDOsDO take time to reflect on the questions being asked before answering ask for clarification if needed.DO provide specifics use examples to back up your claims relating to your skills.DO use the STAR (situation, task, action, result) for behavioral questions. DONTs DONT highlight weaknesses in areas that might be considered essential to the job.DONT be negative towards others when speaking about conflicts or dislikes in past jobs.DONT focus only on yourself instead connect your skills and experiences to the companys projects and workplace culture.Additional Interview Preparation TipsThere are several addition activities that can help with your interview prep. Some will help you develop answers to specific questions, while others will simply reinforce a good first impression.Review your cover letter and resume Its important for you to keep in mind what the company already knows about you. That way you can reference the contents of your application to support your interview answers. Bringing copies of both your resume and cover letter to the actual interview is also advised.Update My Resume NowConsider doing a mock interview If you are new to the process or uncomfortable with interviewing, answering mock interview questions is a good way of overcoming your nervousness and getting you trained. Many universities and career centres have programs where people can sign up to have real r ecruiters conduct a mock interview so that people can practice.Have your own questions to ask at an interview The job interview is also an opportunity for you to learn more about the company and the role you are considering. You also want to convey a strong interest in the lage to the recruiter. Knowing what questions to ask in an interview can help you accomplish both.Summing upThe best interview answers start with the right interview preparation. You will never be able to predict exactly what you will be asked, but knowing the types of questions to expect and knowing how to articulate your answers in a structured fashion will give you a great chance of success.

11 Companies We Wish We Worked For Hiring Now!

11 Companies We Wish We Worked For â€" Hiring Now! 11 Companies We Wish We Worked For - Hiring Now! Have you ever had “company envy”? When you’ve chatted with a friend who works for a cool company or you’ve visited the offices of the competition? We’ve all been there. You love your job but you cannot help but wonder “Is the grass greener on the other side?” It’s easy to be envious of other companies’ benefits, perks, offices, bonuses and culture.   After all, reading employees’ rave reviews on Glassdoor can give anyone company envy. If you’re already thinking about jumping ship from your current gig, check out these 11 companies with offerings and missions that are sure to make job seekers giddy. Viacom Why It’s Cool: Viacom is home to the world’s premier entertainment brands that connect with audiences through compelling content across television, motion picture, online and mobile platforms in over 160 countries and territories. Viacom’s leading brands include MTV, VH1, CMT, Logo, BET, CENTRIC, Nickelodeon, SPIKE & more. Where Hiring: New York, NY; Burbank, CA; Hollywood, CA & more. What Roles: VP of Development Nick Preschool, Legal Assistant, Director of Contract Management, Coordinator of Music and Media Licensing, Receptionist, Art Director & more. What Employees Say: “Great room for growth and a lot to learn. The company usually promotes within which is good. Also offers classes to learn.” - Current Inventory Analyst NSA Why It’s Cool: The NSA is the world leader in cryptology â€" the art and science of making and breaking codes. It is this expertise- from the people and technology- that allows the NSA to accomplish the goals of discovering adversaries’ secrets, protecting U.S. secrets, and outmaneuvering adversaries in cyberspace while at the same time protecting the privacy rights of the American people. Where Hiring: Fort Meade, MD; Honolulu, HI; Springfield, VA; Denver, CO & more. What Roles: Entry-Level Intelligence Analyst, Corporate Action Officer, Chinless Language Instructor, Data Steward, Data Engineer, Technical Writer, Chief of Staff, Business Technologist & more. What Employees Say: “Talented people to work wit; with an in-house school and money for outside classes â€" lots of opportunities to get better at what you do. No need to change jobs to get a promotion or a raise. Lots of opportunity to travel if you like that. No need (and no ability) to check email or phone for messages on your off-time. Internal intranet and collaboration tools are a life-saver in getting things done.” - Current Chief Strategy and Innovation Udemy Why It’s Cool: Udemy is a global marketplace for learning and teaching online where students are mastering new skills and achieving their goals by learning from an extensive library of over 55,000 courses taught by expert instructors. Where Hiring: South San Francisco, CA What Roles: Events Manager, Financial Planning and Analysis Manager, Senior Front-end Engineer, Instructor Marketing Copywriter, Recruiting Coordinator, PR Manager, Technical Support Escalation Specialist & more. What Employees Say: “The overwhelming majority of people who work here are smart, kind, and committed to the mission. People trust each other, care about each other and the work at hand, and HR recently rolled out a whole slew of learning & development programs that have improved not only individual capability, but also culture (for instance, making direct feedback an institutional norm). On top of the annual $1500 ULearn budget for professional development, this has made Udemy an awesome place to learn on the job.” - Current Employee ExxonMobil Why It’s Cool: “ExxonMobil, the largest publicly traded international oil and gas company, uses technology and innovation to help meet the world’s growing energy needs. We hold an industry-leading inventory of resources and are one of the world’s largest integrated refiners, marketers of petroleum products and chemical manufacturers.” Where Hiring: Joliet, IL; Houston, TX; Clinton, NJ; Gulf, TX & more. What Roles: Cyber Security Red Team Lead, Environmental Engineer, Research Guidance and Valuation Advisor, Machinist, Process Technician, Field Mechanic Transportation & more. What Employees Say: “Great opportunities for growth. Upward mobility. Great pay and benefits. Exciting and consuming work.” - Current Employee Northside Hospital Why It’s Cool: “Northside is so much more than just a hospital. It’s an extensive network of state-of-the-art facilities staffed with skilled, caring professionals who are dedicated to the health and wellness of the communities they serve. More than 2,500 physicians* on staff and more than 15,000 employees. Northside has nearly 2,500,000 patient encounters annually.” Where Hiring: Athens, GA; Canton, GA; Cumming, GA & more. What Roles: Catering Assistant, Oncology Clinical Care Associate, Clinical Education Program Coordinator, Nurse Clinician, Risk Management Registered Nurse, Medical Surgical Patient Care Tech, Medical Technologist, Pharmacist & more. What Employees Say: “Wonderful, affordable benefits start after 30 days. Great sense of community among employees and supervisors. Clean, safe work environment. Excellent patient care.” - Current Registered Medical Assistant Sinclair Broadcast Group Why It’s Cool: “Sinclair is the leading local news provider in the country, as well as a producer of sports content. Sinclair owns a multicast network, four radio stations and a cable network. Sinclair’s broadcast content is delivered via multiple-platforms, including over-the-air, multi-channel video program distributors, and digital platforms.” Where Hiring: Seattle, WA; Dakota Dunes, SD; Madison, WI; Quincy, IL; Rochester, NY; Salt Lake City, UT & more. What Roles: Product Manager, Local Sales Assistant, A/R Collector, Morning News Anchor, Photographer, Multimedia Journalist, Weekend Meteorologist & more. What Employees Say: “It is a massive organization with tons of people, energy and moving parts. For the past five years, the company has been in aggressive expansion and growth mode, both through mergers and acquisitions and also through intensive internal development of personnel and departments. The company always goes above and beyond to make sure each station has the various tools and technology needed to win against the competition.” - Current Employee Teach for America Why It’s Cool: Teach For America’s mission is to find, develop, and support a diverse network of leaders who expand opportunity for children from classrooms, schools, and every sector that shapes the broader systems in which schools operate. Where Hiring: Washington DC; New York, NY; Los Angeles, CA; San Jose, CA; Chicago, IL & more. What Roles: Recruitment Manager, Executive Director, Managing Director, K-12 Teacher, Development Director, Instructional Coach, Coordinator of Regional Operations, Communications and Marketing Associate, Managing Director of Individual Giving & more. What Employees Say: “Mission driven organization that is working to solve for one of the most pressing social justice issues in our time. Inclusive organization and is reflective and seeks to continuously improve.” - Current Managing Director Lam Research Corporation Why It’s Cool: Lam Research Corp. is a trusted global supplier of innovative semiconductor manufacturing equipment and services to the world’s leading chipmakers. Lam’s advanced process technology is transforming the way semiconductor devices are made, with atomic-scale features that are more than 1,000 times smaller than a grain of sand. Where Hiring: Fremont, CA; Livermore, CA; Chandler, AZ; Tualatin, OR; Boise, ID & more. What Roles: Supply Chain Business Manager, Production Test Technician, Systems Engineer, Assembler, Senior Software Architect, Product Engineer, Material Handler, Drafter/Designer, Learning Specialist, CSBG Reliant Intern & more. What Employees Say: “The best thing about working at Lam is the people. I have worked at Lam for 20 years. The thing I like most about coming to work is the friendships I have formed in my 20 years at Lam. Lam also is a strong believer in a work-life balance. People at Lam work hard but are also able to enjoy their well deserved time off. Lam also does a lot of great things to support our local communities. For example, the Heart and Soles 5k race to support the YMCA and Boys and Girls club to help promote exercise and healthy eating for local youth.” - Current Program Manager Bain & Company Why It’s Cool: Bain is consistently voted as one of the best companies to work for. We continuously attract the very best candidates who, from day one, are encouraged to truly make an impact in a highly supportive environment. International opportunities abound and future career potential on joining Bain is second to none â€" whether within our senior management or among our extensive alumni network. Where Hiring: Boston, MA; Atlanta, GA; Los Angeles, CA; Palo Alto, CA; Houston, TX & more. What Roles: Ecosystem Senior Specialist, Executive Assistant, Specialist of Global Advanced Analytics, Regional Finance Associate, Manager Assistant, Knowledge Specialist, Senior Coordinator of Global Recruiting & more. What Employees Say: “While interviewing at Bain and researching the company I was highly skeptical about the raving reviews. I am happy to report that after working here for ~3 months, I LOVE BAIN â€" the company values are practiced and seen everyday; the environment is fun, supportive, and interesting; and the people are intelligent, caring, and, for the most part, all wonderful to be around. I hope to be at Bain for many years to come and can’t imagine a better work place.” - Current Manager Assistant Forrester Why It’s Cool: “Forrester is one of the most influential global research and advisory firms in the world. Through proprietary research, data, custom consulting, exclusive executive peer groups, and events, the Forrester experience is about a singular and powerful purpose: to challenge the thinking of clients to help them lead change in their organizations.” Where Hiring: Cambridge, MA; San Francisco, CA; Nashville, TN; Chicago, IL & more. What Roles: Account Executive, Research Associate, Business Analyst, Pricing Analyst, Data Business Development Director, B2B Technology Vertical Sector Lead, Senior Systems Architect, Director of Sales Enablement & more. What Employees Say: “What makes the Forrester experience iconic? Curiosity. People here are insatiably curious â€" about colleagues, clients, their potential, and the future. Most importantly, I feel heard and valued. My best days at work are spent trading ideas with people much smarter than me â€" everyone contributes and the discussion crackles with passion, intelligence, respect, and accountability. My manager trusts me to use my best judgement, coaches me to stretch myself, and is respectful of the need for work/life flexibility. In short, I am treated like a professional.” - Current Employee Kaiser Permanente Why It’s Cool: “More than 200,000 dedicated professionals work to advance Kaiser Permanente’s commitment to delivering a healthier tomorrow. Whether you sit on the clinical, technical, or business side of Kaiser, we’re always exploring our potential - as teams and as individuals. With the freedom to pursue career paths and educational opportunities that match your ambitions, you’ll challenge yourself to reach new heights and feel empowered to make a difference.” Where Hiring: Oakland, CA; South San Francisco, CA; Tacoma, WA; Clackamas, OR; Denver, CO; Honolulu, HI; Jonesboro, GA & more. What Roles: Data Consultant, Research Associate, Social Media Analytics Senior Project Manager, Senior Surgical Technician, Contract operations Analyst, Speech Therapist Specialist, Construction Staff Project Manager, Executive Account Manager, Director of Finance & more. What Employees Say: “It is a huge company. There are many opportunities or moving around within the company. There are many functional group/ departments, you will definitely find one you feel comfortable to work in.” - Former Senior Business Consultant

How to make close friends 4 surprising secrets from research

How to make close friends 4 surprising secrets from research How to make close friends 4 surprising secrets from research Forget pandas. Close friends are the real endangered species these days.That’s a painful thing. And I don’t mean “sad-painful.” I mean “broken-arm-painful.” At least that’s how your brain sees it. Your grey matter experiences social pain the exact same way it does physical pain. So much so that Tylenol actually relieves feelings of rejection.From The Neuroscience of Human Relationships:The overlap of neuroanatomical processes involved in physical and social pain highlights the conservation of preexisting structures for later-evolving functions. The cingulate becomes activated when we, or those we love, experience physical pain as well as when we experience social exclusion (Davis et al., 1997; Koyama et al., 1998; Lenz et al., 1998; Panksepp, 2003b). The common underlying neurobiology of physical and social pain may help us to understand why the quality of our relationships has such a profound effect on our physical health (Robles Kiecolt-Glaser, 2003). It also helps t o explain why painkillers such as acetaminophen decrease anterior cingulate activation as well as the negative emotional impact of social rejection (Petrovic et al., 2002; DeWall et al., 2010).A hospital noticed that a lot of child patients were dying. So they limited the tykes contact with others to protect the kids from catching anything. And the result was more children dying. When the kids were given extra social contact, that’s when the situation improved.Sometimes a lack of affection can be worse than the danger of infection.From The Neuroscience of Human Relationships:In response to a high number of deaths, physicians attempted to keep the children safe from infectious diseases by separating them from one another and ordering that their handling be kept to a minimum. Yet they still died at such alarming rates that admission forms and death certificates were signed at intake for the sake of efficiency. It was not until the children were held, rocked, and allowed to interact with one another that their survival rate improved (Blum, 2002).We need relationships. Critically. We are social animals at our core. But in the modern era we often don’t act like it. And we don’t get clear answers on how to improve the situation.In many cases, we make mistakes that prevent us from really connecting with others and end up with lukewarm friendships but no idea how to deepen them. Time to fix that.Let’s get to it …Put the “ow!” in hoursAristotle said, “The desire for friendship comes quickly. Friendship does not.” And Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command.”And a recent study seems to back that up. Looks like making close friends takes a lot of time:Logistic regressions offered 3-point estimates: 94 hr when acquaintances become casual friends, 164 hr when casual friends become friends, and 219 hr when friends become good/best friends. These numbers are likely conservative estimates due to the inclusion of both closed system and chosen relationships and due to the retrospective nature of the study.With numbers like that, it’s amazing we have any friends at all. But the reason it takes that long is because we’re doing friendship wrong. We’re all scared and worried and it takes us a long time to really open up.But what if you suddenly became fearless? Could you make a close friend in less than 219 hours?Yeah. You could do it in 45 minutes.From How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life:On a scale of 1 to 7, hundreds of volunteers rated their “deepest” relationship as a 4.65 for closeness. After talking about their answers to personal questions for forty-five minutes, random pairs rated their closeness as 3.82 â€" not all that much lower.It’s called “reciprocal disclosure.” Arthur Aron created bonds between people that could last a lifetime with just 36 questions. The results were so powerful two study subj ects subsequently got married.I can hear people screaming right now: JUST GIMME THE QUESTIONS! GIMME THE QUESTIONS! GIMME!Fine, fine. They’re here. But that’s not the point. Those questions aren’t magical. Everybody always says we need to listen, listen, listen to improve relationships. And there’s a reason for that: most of us are horrible listeners.But it’s still only half the battle. Nobody ever made a good friend by interrogating people or turning a friendly meeting into a job interview.We need to ask deep questions. And give our own deep responses. You gotta get personal. And then you need to escalate it and go deeper and get more personal. Hopes, dreams, feelings, regrets, memories.Small talk isn’t neutral. Research shows it can actually harm friendships:Notably, small talk predicted a reduction in friendship closeness from 6 weeks to 9 weeks. That is, friendships engaging in small talk become less close over time. These findings add another element to Dunbar’s ( 1996) assertion that time is a constraint to friendship development; namely, what people do with their time together uniquely explains the development of friendship closeness.You gotta ask tough questions and give serious answers. It’s “Truth or Dare” - with no dares. If you feel uncomfortable, you’re doing it right. And it makes most of us feel very uncomfortable. And that’s why we need 219 hours to finally get around to it.I know, you’re scared of being judged. Don’t be. You want to be judged. How close can you feel to people who don’t understand you at all? Studies show when we’re judgeable we’re happier and live more authentic lives.From No One Understands You and What to Do About It:Research consistently shows that people who are more judgeable are psychologically better adjusted- they are happier; are more satisfied with their personal and professional lives; have more lasting, positive relationships; and have a greater sense of purpose. They feel able to live more authentically and are more confident in their self-knowledge. This makes a lot of sense. If people are seeing you the way you see yourself, then you aren’t getting all the unsettling, self-doubt-inducing feedback that the chronically misunderstood have to endure. Life is simply easier and more rewarding when people “get you” and provide you with the opportunities and support that are a good fit for you.By the way, when I walk through the automatic doors at the grocery store sometimes I pretend I’m opening them using The Force - just like I did when I was 8. Vulnerable me does silly things. Judge away.Open up. Be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid. Unless you have thousands of hours to spare.(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling book here.)Alright, you’re putting yourself out there. And that’s something that can help everyone improve their friendships. But what is a strategy tailored for you that will take your friendships t o the next level?Practice un-safe socializingWe all do little things to not feel exposed and vulnerable. They’re called “safety behaviors.” And in protecting us they also make it more difficult to connect with others.Maybe you avoid eye contact. Maybe you brag to impress. Maybe you never compliment people or never initiate a conversation to avoid feeling stupid or rejected.You know which ones you’re guilty of. When surveyed 92% of people could immediately identify which safety behaviors they engage in.Now take a deep breath and before your next social interaction, test what happens when you don’t do them. This has been shown to reduce anxiety and make people much more likable.From How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety:First, participants who dropped their safety behaviors looked less anxious. Indeed, when they stopped trying to conceal, rather than all that unconcealed anxiety spilling out, they looked more comfortable. Next, when Alden and Taylor asked the confederates about their experience, guess whom they enjoyed talking to more? The group who dropped their safety behaviors. Who would they like to spend more time with? Ditto. Who did they want as a friend? You guessed it… Once all the bandwidth used for rehearsing sentences or managing their appearance was freed up, authentic friendliness- the good stuff- naturally filled in the gaps.Without your safety behaviors, you’re not watered down. You’re more authentic.From How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety:Indeed, when we use safety behaviors we know we’re coming off as fake. We know it’s not our true self that we’re presenting to the world- instead, it’s a filtered, highly managed version. Safety behaviors are designed to hide your true self, the one your Inner Critic says is flawed. But instead, safety behaviors keep us stuck in the idea that we’re unlikable or deficient. We never get the chance to prove thos e ideas wrong. Ironically, when the study participants stopped trying to save themselves they could be themselves.It’s the Director’s Cut version of you - the way you were meant to be seen. You’ll not only connect better with others but you’ll also feel better about yourself.(To learn the seven-step morning ritual that will make you happy all day, click here.)You’re no longer playing it safe. But why is it that sometimes you just can’t seem to get into the right frame of mind to relate to other people?Use your brain … No, your other brainNeuroscientist Matthew Lieberman found that there are two separate networks in your brain: one very social, one much more analytical. And when one is working hard, the other slows down.Ever come home from a long day and feel like your brain is still in “work mode”? Like you need to decompress and shift gears? Yeah, that.Some people default to the the social system, others to the analytical. And occasionally we all need to be remin ded to flip that social switch. Time with friends is not a problem to be solved.From Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome:Lieberman’s lab and others have found that people have two separate brain networks, one for nonsocial problems and another for social problems… Whether it’s making sense of another person’s intent or deciphering someone else’s emotional state, awkward people tend to show less activity in social brain networks and they sometimes show hyperactivity in networks that are typically associated with book smarts. These findings suggest that awkward people may not intuitively see social patterns or infer broad meaning, but instead have to assemble social information as if they are solving an equation.Often, a reminder is all we need to tell the analytical side to power down a bit and to focus on social cues rather than treating a friendly gathering like a logic problem.From Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awk ward and Why That’s Awesome:Studies that look at what happens when people have nothing to think about or let their minds wander show that non-awkward people tend to keep their social brain running at all times, even when there is no social activity. By comparison, awkward people do not seem to keep their social brain running at all times and might need to be reminded to turn the ignition on for their social brain.(To learn 5 secrets from neuroscience that will increase your attention span, click here.)You’re making yourself vulnerable, you’re not playing it safe and you’re using friendly-brain and not Spock-brain. All good advice. But what’s some bad advice we’ve all been given that we should ignore if we’re not connecting with people the way we’d like?Don’t “be yourself”Want to show the real you? Then don’t “be yourself.” (To every after school special that has ever aired, I say: “Come at me, bro.”)Play a part. Not full-on acting but let yourself inh abit a role. Give yourself a structure to perform in, a goal for the interaction. This reduces social anxiety.From How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety:Indeed, a classic study by Australian researchers Drs. Simon Thompson and Ron Rapee showed that changing a social situation from unstructured, with ambiguous roles and rules, to structured, with defined roles and goals, results in an astonishing difference in the performance of folks prone to social anxiety.Researchers told subjects to “pretend they were at a party and needed to get to know the other person in only 5 minutes.” And their anxiety melted.From How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety:In the unstructured interactions in the waiting room, the women with social anxiety scored, predictably, quite a bit worse than the non-anxious women, who chatted with the confederate without a second thought. But after the structure was added, the whole game changed. Once the socially anxious women had an assignment to fulfill, the gap in the assessor’s ratings of social competence narrowed dramatically, with the two groups nearly neck and neck. Turns out the socially anxious women had considerable social skills; they just needed some structure on which to hang them.Yeah, I know: some people think this is fake. Phony. You’re not being the real you. Wrong.You can be an inconsistent, unpredictable mess at times. We all can. We’re affected by moods and context. We have bad days. We feel nervous and act weird. Is that the real you?You’re not pretending to be someone you’re not; you’re giving yourself a structure and a goal to keep you in bounds and less affected by the vagaries of the day. That’s more like the “real” you.From How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety:Giving yourself some structure by playing a role you choose allows you to build up and reinforce the real you.So what’s a good role t o play to deepen a relationship? How about “student”? Wharton professor Adam Grant points to research showing advice-seeking is a great way to connect with others.How do you think someone would react if you said, “How do you stay in such great shape? I respect that. Can you give me some tips?”You gave them an honest compliment and made them feel like an expert. You were vulnerable - you asked for help. Now you have a topic to discuss and maybe a reason to go to the gym together.(To learn 3 secrets from neuroscience that will help you quit bad habits without willpower, click here.)Okay, we’ve learned a lot. Let’s round it up and find out what really happened to all those popular kids in high school …Sum upThis is how to make close friends: Put the “Ow!” In Hours: 219 hours is a lot of time to make a close friend and small talk kills relationships. Be vulnerable. And use The Force when entering Rite Aid. Practice Un-Safe Socializing: I’m not writing anything here. You guys talk amongst yourselves. I don’t want to look stupid. Use Your Brain… No, Your Other Brain: Remind yourself to use the social part of your brain. Leave the people analyzing to me. Don’t Be Yourself: You can be inconsistent and moody. That’s not the “real” you. Give yourself a role and a goal to make you more like you. Nerds and nice folks, rejoice! The cool kids do not win at life.Developmental psychologists know that “popular” and “likable” are two different things. First one has to do with power. The latter is what makes you loved and happy.From Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome:Both popular and likable people tend to be socially fluent, but people motivated by popularity use their mind-reading skills to boost their social status or protect their position in the social hierarchy. Conversely, likable people are more likely to use their mind-reading skills to ensure that they act in fair and collaborative ways. Put differently, people driven by popularity approach situations thinking, “What’s in it for me?” whereas likable people are thinking, “What can I do to contribute?” People who are motivated by popularity tend to focus on short-term social gains, but these grabs for power come at the cost of burning social capital. They are more likely to use tactics that erode social capital such as manipulation, gossip, and degrading others for personal gain. Although likable people may not always win the contest for having the most Instagram followers or win the nomination for homecoming king or queen, they are more likely to be happy, have higher self-esteem, and find more reliable friendships.Being cooperative and pleasant is what leads to good friendships long after graduation. Trying to be popular - striving for power in relationships - has correlations with addiction, loneliness, and depression.From Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status-Obsessed World:One study examined more than ten thousand Swedish youth and then followed them over the next thirty to forty years. The children’s likability was measured at the age of thirteen along with a host of possible factors that could explain both their likability and later outcomes. Researchers measured each subject’s IQ, aggressive and disruptive behavior, histo ry of physical and mental illness, parents’ level of education and income, and even the child’s future goals. After accounting for all of these possible influences on adult outcomes, it was likability that predicted happiness, employment, and income decades later.Being likable is what predicted happiness and income in adulthood. You don’t need to worry about being cool anymore. High school is over.Now go hug your friends or I’m going to shove you into a locker.

How to talk your employer into a dog-friendly office

How to talk your employer into a dog-friendly office How to talk your employer into a dog-friendly office For pet owners, leaving Fido at home to retreat to the office is a daily struggle. Not only are pup daycares and dog walkers expensive if you live in a city, but the guilt of thinking of your best friend home alone is tough to stomach, too.Though it’s not yet the norm, more and more companies are wagging their tail at the idea of dog-friendly offices, which have been scientifically proven to calm employees, while boosting morale and office interaction. As career and branding expert Wendi Weiner explains, “Having a dog in the office can make you happier, more positive, more enthusiastic about coming to work, and even friendlier.”It’s that vibe the founder of Hello Products Craig Dubitsky was going for when he decided to start his company. Not only is their dedication to animals apparent in their vegan toothpaste and mouthwash, but their plant-based toothbrushes are never tested on furry pals, either. Their entire supply chain is cruelty-free, and they wanted to offer that same commitment to their employees’ pets with an open-door dog policy.“We consider where we go to work each day as an extension of our home, and last I checked, many of us had dogs that we love in our homes … so why wouldn’t we want those same lovable, amazing, furry friends to come hang with us in the office? It was a no-brainer,” he explained.At the company today, many pups are present daily, including Harbor, Shayna, Ace, Elvis, and Toby, all of which help define the culture. “When folks feel comfortable to show their affectionate side, their emotional side, there’s an honesty that just comes through in all of our interactions - with each other, with partners that come into our space, and with the outside world,” he explains.So how do you sell your own employer on the concept of a dog-friendly office? Here, a few ideas to make your case:It boosts office moraleAs evident from many startups and corporations who set aside water bowls, everyone’s a bit happier when dog s are around. Weiner says to take into account the moments when the energy around the office is a little underwhelming or defeated - and use it to your advantage in opening arguments.“Perhaps your office is full of CPAs and staff accountants who feel the lull of tax season. Imagine if Fridays were set so that you could bring your dog to work? Suddenly the tax season stress diminishes as you are looking forward to casual dress-down Friday as well as the added perk of bringing your dog into the office,” she explains.As science says, higher spirits will mean more productivity for all. Those who work in four-leg-friendly offices can attest to the fact firsthand - or is it paw first? Software developer for InkSoft, Eric Nation says everyone in his office definitely smiles more with dogs around. Every Monday morning, his office has a “town hall” where all employees and their dogs are invited. While it might seem distracting, he says it’s actually the opposite, since pups becom e part of the company family and culture.“Having loving, cheerful and cute animals around just improves your mood and helps lighten your work day. If you’re stressing over a deadline or call you just got off of, and then along comes Naudia wagging her tail with a big grin wanting you to pet her … how are you going to be in a bad mood anymore?” he explains. “If employees are happier and in a better mood at work, they are going to naturally perform better. And what manager doesn’t want that?”It decreases stress and increases productivityAs a dog owner herself, Weiner says it can be difficult to manage a busy work schedule with the demands of being a pet mom. For many, the rush to get out of the door for their pup’s walk can put added pressure on the workday. When dogs are roaming the hallways, it’s easier to remain focused, since employees can take them out for a pee break whenever they need them.“While dogs can be trained to hold it in for that long period of time , imagine how the dog owner feels knowing that he/she has left her dog alone for that time. Dogs crave the companionship of humans and enabling dogs in the office would reduce the personal stress of the owner to need to leave work earlier to tend to the dog,” she explains.Some companies, like UNITE Hair, go the extra mile to make this possible as a dog-friendly office. At their 55,000-square foot office in Carlsbad, CA, they offer a meditation area, outdoor break room, indoor/outdoor kitchen area, custom coffee bars and a gym, including showers. With these amenities and pups by their sides, employees can detox for any demanding situation with ease, and without ever leaving.It can make your more competitiveAnother way to encourage your employee to welcome your dog is to illustrate how it makes them more competitive in the hiring process. If top-tier talent only seeks flexible companies - in policy, vacation and their furry sidekicks - it could make or break an offer letter.Prayte ll, a creative communications agency headquartered in Brooklyn with offices in Los Angeles, Austin, San Francisco, Chicago and London not only allows dogs but offers benefits for pet parents, too. This includes pet insurance to help with any unexpected vet-related costs and a “puppy leave” program when you first adopt. They accredit their “PR Agency of the Year” for the past three years to a focus on company culture, including this animal-focused approach.

Video International Engineering Education Summit in China

Video International Engineering Education Summit in China Video International Engineering Education Summit in China Video: International Engineering Education Summit in China ASME President Marc W. Goldsmith, speaking at an international conference in Beijing, said educators around the world must share ideas and innovations to ensure that graduating engineers are always ready to step into productive roles in industry. Goldsmith spoke in December at the International Mechanical Engineering Education Summit. Well over 200 educators and industry representatives participated from across China, South Korea, the United Kingdom and the United States. The Summit was co-sponsored by ASME, the Chinese Mechanical Engineering Society (CMES) and the United Kingdoms Institution of Mechanical Engineering (IMechE). ASMEs delegation included Allan Kirkpatrick of Colorado State University, Patricia Brackin of Georgia Institute of Technology, Imtiaz Haque of Clemson University, and Thomas Perry and Michael Michaud, both of ASME. The copyright of this program is owned by ASME.